Life is a beautiful phenomena. Many aspects shape this reality, and the interactions with our fellow humans can alter their reality. The days can either rain or shine, an aspect that cannot truly be controlled in life. While I do enjoy the rain, recently there have been some things that have stopped me from writing on this blog.
An overwhelming combination of emotions have forced me away from this blog. The stormy weather that has clouded my mind has turned these storms into hurricanes – Into neglectance.
It was until recently that I regained the valor to explore these thoughts and I believe it would be fitting to share these thoughts with my miniscule audience. Afterall, Would my content be truly honest if I only shared the ups while neglecting the downs?
I have pondered over this predicament of mine and realized that my problem started after my adventure in Montreal.
I loved Montreal, the city was the definition of friendliness. I never had experienced so many wonderful personalities – So many colorful people. I managed to connected with others so quickly that I would label them as friends regardless of the amount of hours we experienced.
The city granted me the freedom I so wholeheartedly yearn for. This drug is often given in small doses throughout my many trekking journeys. An emotion that is associated with leafy mountains and running rivers was explored in the form of astonishing architecture and charming smiles.
Through the many souls that ventured through the bustling metropolis, I was granted wisdom and plenty of knowledge in the form of perspectives. These walk-by friends whom I may never have the pleasure of revisiting, have left an impact into my psyche and I crave for their presence once more. For in the world I currently reside, I cannot find such people.
I will refrain from my comments about my environment, I do not wish to stereotype. However, it is draining. Constantly being surrounded by this environment prevents my mind from freely traversing my thoughts.
The stagnation becomes so easily putrid in my mind and difficult to dispose of.
This stench is created by a simple thought: I am right to question my current environment or is my environment questioning me?
A dilemma- I yearn for better things, better connections, better wisdom. Am I the fool for not getting them or is the world foolish enough not to attempt them?
Allow me to be selfish for a few paragraphs and state that- I long for deeper connections and conversations. Bigger adventures with people who wish to explore life on a deeper level. To do everything but to live on a superficial level.
I want to romanticize coffee shops and books. I want to romanticize long car conversations about the meaning of life. I want to be supported by a crowd of friends and support them in return. I dream of the ultimate adventure with a colorful bunch of folk, creating everlasting memories that would carry more weight than a gold bar.
I want to live more, I wish people would see this.
I want people to not be so afraid of change, existence, connections and opportunities.
How can one be afraid of death, if they never lived to begin with?
In my flames of passion, I lit every candle I could. But in the aftermath, someone forgot to keep me ablaze. I have become ash.
A simple mistake made by many but often not recreated. For people are wise enough to refrain from such martyr dreams.
My comments might be antagonistic, but I think these thoughts are devoid of life.
In our self preservation, we neglect the very definition that makes us more than mere mammals – the definition of what makes us alive.
That being said, life is not just about giving- if you were created only to give then you would be more of a tool than a person. It is important to take care of ourselves without neglecting the art of helping those around you. To connect with them. To live.
However, these cries are merely temporary. For I am gifted with the ability of independence. I will be rekindled once again through the many tears I cannot shed. For while I pounce over these injustices, I will not join them.
Hypocrisy is common among people. I would be lying if I did not practice it at some point. However, I would like to refrain from it.
While there are certain hypocrisies I might oversee, I will rectify the ones on my purview.
I think one of them is that lack of openness from people. Hence, I started a blog and I wish to continue it.
I long for more adventures – I will make them.
I crave for deeper thought – I will give it to those who have not experienced it.
I wish for the world to love more – I will give it first.
I wish to be understood – I will understand the world first.
I will not let putrid thoughts take the life I was given. I will not let anyone be distraught by these fleeing ponders. For in my current blaze, I will light as many candles until I will be forced to yield. Whether these thoughts leave me in complete darkness it does not matter. For I have the power to rekindle again. Like a phoenix, no life will ever be taken from me and my embers will shine bright and brighter with each reawakening.
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